Written by: Kate Rountree, RDN and Genna Hymowitz, PhD, FASMBS_IH, FTOS

You have worked very hard to establish healthy habits that you can maintain for a lifetime. No matter how skilled we become with these habits, there will always be challenges that arise from time to time. Some of these challenges are related to our interpersonal or social environment. Various social situations or pressures can make it more difficult to maintain healthy habits, and it can be difficult to know how to manage these situations skillfully. For instance:

  • A well-meaning family member won’t stop encouraging you to eat a slice of pie.
  • Your co-workers frequently ask you to attend a happy hour after work.
  • Your spouse or kids complain about the lack of snacks or fast foods in the house.
  • Friends are meeting for dinner and dessert multiple times per month.
  • Loved ones comment that you DESERVE an indulgence.

Situations like these can make you feel stuck. On the one hand you might be motivated to make balanced choices, but on the other it can be hard to disappoint a loved one or miss out on a social event or tradition. Of course, there is room in any healthy eating pattern for enjoyment of all kinds of foods, in moderation. You are aiming for balance, not perfection! But sometimes it can be difficult to maintain a healthy balance when there are frequent pressures toward less-healthy choices. This is normal and should be expected, but when these circumstances come up, there are some strategies you can use to help you stay balanced in your overall patterns.

  • Firstly, return to your why!
    • What are your goals?
    • Do you think this choice will help you accomplish those goals?
  • Remember that you have a choice.
  • It’s not that you can’t have a food, but in some situations, you may choose not to have a certain food, because it doesn’t line up with your overall goals for yourself.
  • Practicing making choices that are guided by your valued goals will, over time, make it easier to make the choices that feel the most right for you. This can also help you feel more empowered to make your own decisions.
  • Even when you feel very certain in your decision, it may be difficult to know how to communicate this to others in a way that is both effective and respectful. If you have decided to make a healthier choice than the one being suggested to you, here are some responses that may be helpful:
    • “It looks delicious, but I’ve had enough.”
    • “No thank you.”
    • “I’m trying to eat healthier and that will throw me off of my commitment to myself.”
    • “I am enjoying myself. I’m so glad we are getting to spend time together. I really missed you. Tell me more about [something in their life].”
    • “I need to be more conscious of what I eat right now but you should go ahead, it looks amazing.”
    • “Thanks for the offer but I’ve already made all my meals for the week so it’ll go to waste, but now you won’t have to cook for a few days either.”
    • “I’ll be able to celebrate more holidays with you in the future if I stick to this health plan I’m on. I really want to be around so we have many more years together.”
    • “I appreciate your concern. It makes me feel good to know you care about my health. My doctor is happy with my health and I’m really proud of myself too for all of the hard work I’ve put in thus far.”

Other strategies for when your prepared responses won’t be accepted:

  • Explain that having temptations readily available is difficult for you currently as you are working to set new healthier routines.
  • When “no thank you” won’t be accepted, share your reasoning with your friend, co-worker, loved one. Clue them into why you are saying no.
  • Ask that certain foods are kept in a less trafficked area.
  • Ask family members to enjoy certain temptations away from the house.
  • Suggest restaurants that offer healthier alternatives. Review the menu and select before arriving. Skip calorically dense add-ons, such as sugary or alcoholic drinks, free bread and chips, etc.
  • Bring a healthy dish to a potluck style gathering.
  • When at someone’s home, peruse the food choices and rate the offerings from 1-5; five being something you really enjoy and perhaps something that you only are offered once a year; one being something you can completely live without. Serve yourself foods you’ve rated 3-5 and leave the 1s and 2s alone.
  • Move away from the food area to eat. Savor and enjoy then try to avoid t going back for seconds.
  • Eat and toss: Have 2-3 bites then toss the rest (privately if necessary). Or better yet, save for leftovers for later!

TREO Foundation thanks Kate Rountree, Genna Hymowitz, and ASMBS for contributing this post to our Walk from Obesity e-Newsletter.